Natalie Fisher
Dr. Kirsten Kaschock
English 103
February 12, 2016
Life as the Youngest Child
All families are different. They are unique in their own way. If a family does have multiple children, then the children have siblings. They have people close to their age to grow up with. They have someone to bond with. There can be the oldest child, a few or no middle children, and the youngest. The oldest can be in control, the middle are ignored, and the youngest is the baby. This is what stereotypes say. After watching shows on TV and reading stories that involve families, it seems that the youngest is known for being the “baby” of the family and gets special treatment from the parents. The siblings always fight, and they seem to aim after the youngest. These stereotypes can be true at times, but by being the youngest, I can say I don’t follow the stereotypes. Being the youngest child is more than being the “baby” of the family and getting special treatment. It is about learning from your older siblings and following their footprints in where they succeed and take a change in a path on where they make mistakes. It is about rebelling from the “baby” title and doing things your own way. Parents can treat you like the baby and give you special treatment, but at other times, they let you get away with things because they are used to parenting and not scared anymore. I am the youngest, and I know other youngest children who break the youngest child family types.
Some people get along with their siblings better than others. But in most movies or stereotypes, it seems that people expect that the youngest sibling doesn’t get along with their older sibling. It appears as if they are always fighting, and they aren’t close at all. The friend I interviewed and I both agree that this isn’t accurate. Siblings fight at times, but they aren’t enemies. They seem to get along just well. I interviewed one of my good friends who shares the same identity as myself. His relationship with his siblings is quite similar to my own. “My relationship with my sisters is very close. At times, we may get in arguments, and things will be said that we don’t mean but at the end of every day we are all still very close with each other” (Arfuso). Siblings don’t have to get along all the time. It’s nice to be close, but being close isn’t everything. When it comes to getting along, being there for each other is what matters.
Siblings are there to be role models for whoever is younger. They set examples and show their siblings what to do, and what not to do. “Finally, research by Widmer (1997); Slomkowski, Rende, Conger, Simons, and Conger (2001); and Conger, Heylen, Slomkowski, and Rende (2003) suggests that older siblings are influential in shaping the behaviors and norms adopted by younger siblings” (Cundiff). By watching your siblings show up, you can learn a lot from them. Watching them grow up can help how the youngest child grows up. They can learn from what the older siblings have done wrong, and they can give advice on what will help them. I asked Stephen what the most valuable thing he learned from his siblings was. This was his response. “I couldn’t pick out a single thing. Overall, they’ve just made my life easier by pathing an easier road for me. They’ve all been through what I'm going through now so whenever I am in need of help or have a question, I can always rely on them.” (Arfuso). Older siblings guide the way for the youngest. Helping them improve their lives can be very helpful. This is why I am so grateful to have such great older siblings. Older siblings can differ from many people on how they act. Sometimes I watch what my older siblings do, and I don’t like the way they act. I want to branch away from what they do and how they handle situations at times. “Because lastborns view their older siblings as bigger, faster, and smarter, they may attempt to differentiate themselves by being more rebellious, says Sulloway.” (Lorenzi). Being the youngest means you are compared to your older siblings. I know I would hate it. This is when they start to rebel, so they don’t keep getting compared.
Being compared to your older siblings isn’t always a bad thing. It gets annoying, but it isn’t terrible. Also being called the “baby” all the time tends to get annoying as well. Sometimes the last-born child needs to break free and rebel. “And if older siblings baby the baby, lastborns might be spoiled and manipulative.” (Lorenzi). The youngest feels like they are always going to be known as being the innocent one. They want to break out of that stereotype and be known as something else. Sometimes the parent doesn’t even notice the youngest and the youngest will rebel to get attention. Dr. Salmon has done research on this topic to figure out why the youngest will rebel at times. “ "The baby of the family tends to be the type who needs attention; the firstborn, who was alone for a while in the family, doesn't need to seek attention, because he or she usually got it," says Dr. Salmon.” (Schipani).The youngest feels like they are trying to compete with their older siblings to gain the attention of the parents. I know I feel that way at times. Sometimes the youngest is named as the baby, but at times, parents don’t treat them like the baby.
At times, parents get used to being parents of the last child that they aren’t as nervous. Kevin Leman, being the youngest child himself, relates this situation as well. “Parents tend to let things slide once the last child comes along -- they aren't nervous, first-time parents anymore. As a result, lastborns usually do get away with more than their siblings do, says Leman.” (Lorenzi). It is not that the parents don’t care anymore, but they’ve experienced most things normal children do with the other children that they know how to handle the situations. If the youngest is doing something not too bad, the parent will most likely let the child get away with it. “While the youngest child is characterized as more extroverted than older siblings, youngest children generally tend to have low acceptance of responsibility.” (Cundiff). The youngest child can be get away with things easier. They have less responsibility because parents are used to parenting, and they still will treat them like the baby. The stereotype of being dealt with as the baby will come around every once in awhile, but the youngest doesn’t always act as the baby. Being the youngest child can be amazing.
I love my identity. At times I don’t appreciate being called the baby, but there are a lot of pros. I have siblings to look up to and learn from and at times my parents give me special treatment. I avoid the baby stereotype by being rebellious at times. Most other youngest children can agree. Being the youngest has its pros and cons, but I am proud of my identity, and I wouldn’t want to change a thing.
